Why men are like M&Ms

Hello. My name is Kate and I am 25 and recently single. I have been thinking a lot in shitty metaphors lately, and I have come up with the following. Please feel free to read and enjoy.


Men are like M&Ms. There are many different flavors and varieties but sometimes you can't be sure just what type of delicious candy you are dating until it is too late. Allow me to explain.

For example:
Regular milk chocolate M&Ms: These are the least dangerous of the lot claiming only 240 cals per serving, 10grams of Fat and 6grams saturated fat with an only slightly daunting carb count of 34grams. Not bad, eh? These plain M&Ms are tasty and always there for you when you need them. They are generally safe and can potentially be marriage material if stability is what you desire. I do sometimes get sick of eating plain M&Ms but truthfully I would be grateful to end up eating these for the rest of my life. But before I settle down with my party bag of plain M&Ms I would like to sample a few other types.

Peanut M&Ms: These candies are only moderately dangerous but beware they will break your heart at least once. At 250 calories, 13 grams of fat, 5 grams of sat. fat and only 30grams total carbs these candies allow you to indulge a little. They aren't that much worse for you than the plain M&Ms but every once in a while you get a shitty peanut. You know what I am talking about, too. Even decrepit, nasty peanuts need a place to go and it is occasionally right into your life. These peanuts may come in the form of a lie, or a wandering eye. Or perhaps it's just a plain old lazy, uninspired, good for nothing, unappreciative peanut. But when it is good it's good, and it is almost tasty enough for you to forget the awful taste in your mouth when you had that shitty peanut. The people who choose this candy as their M&M of choice have to be very patient and have good metabolism.

And Finally Peanut Butter M&Ms: These ones are the best tasting but hell on the hips, ass and thighs. Does that make sense? The ones that are usually the worst for us always taste the best. The forbidden crunchy candy, if you will. Topping the charts at 240 calories, 14grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat and a tasty 26grams total carbs these are worst for you inside and outside. Even as you eat these colorful confections you keep saying to yourself, "I need to put this bag down, these are really bad for me." But yet we eat. And even when our friends and family tell us that "Those M&Ms are clogging your arteries and making you unhappy," we eat. And even when you swear you will never eat another peanut butter M&M they call and tell you "It's alright. You can eat me and it will all be okay," and so you try again. So why do we eat these fucking candies? I can literally feel my stomach turn at the thought of a certain peanut butter M&M. I know I don't want anymore but the temptation is always there. Why?

I don't know what to make of my shitty metaphor. In my head it makes sense and I am sure the people that know me know all the different M&Ms I have dated. I wonder if you can put a face on all the M&Ms you have dated.

So here is for the conclusion of my very first blog and hopefully the first of many to come. I am 25 and single for the first time in a long time. I know that I need to learn to be okay with being by myself and getting to know who I really am without some idiot M&M by my side to help form my identity. But when I am ready I will know, and at that point I would like to have me some of those...

Dark Chocolate M&Ms: At 240 cals they have a common trait with all the other M&Ms but these ones are different. They have 33grams total carbs so they are the sweetest by far, and they only have 11 grams total fat which is the lowest of them all. They are little high in saturated fats but what girl doesn't like to live a dangerously at 7 grams per serving. Every M&M has it's faults after all. But dark chocolate is good for your heart and not every store serves this flavor so they are a little harder to find. But worth it.

So there you go. I am at home with the me and I am rooted in the me that is on this journey. Wish me luck in my quest for my dark chocolate M&M.

Peace,
Katie